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Monday, June 02, 2014

Intimate Pleasure: An Encounter With Sex Toys - Adult Content (18+ Only!)

By Stephen Kwabena Effah

It’s not a cock and bull story! It’s an open intimate issue that not only irk but also offends my sense. Until last Friday, I thought the level of conservatism in Africa was high, especially when it comes to issues of sex.

I was wrong! Africans now appear to be living in a contemporary world. They now feel liberated, and are exploring their sexuality more than ever before. The era where sex was surrounded with myth is over.

Countless times that I have been to court to report on defilement cases, judges have had to ask witnesses who were being diplomatic with their language by using  “private parts” to mean “penis and vagina,” to be explicit. They always want to shy away from talking about sex.

I remember a witness in one such case once told a Gender-based Violent Court in Accra “…the man slept with the girl…” Interesting, since when did ‘sleeping with’ an opposite sex become a crime? Well, he meant, “the man had sex” with the girl.

Today in Africa, sexual liberation and expression has assumed a new path, where men and women are now seeking sexual pleasure in, not fellow human beings as ordained Biblically, but toys. Yes sex toys!

That’s the new phenomenon, which has permeated our once high moral continent. Ever thought of a ‘real man’ abandoning breathing woman with all the alluring body and scent for a silicone clone bereft of womanly attributes as a sexual partner?

What about this? A young full-blooded woman, sometimes married, who goes in for a penis-shaped dildos and vibrators to serve as her sexual companion instead of an energetic man endowed with six packs.

Decades ago, that would have been a nonstarter but this’ exactly what’s happening in today’s Ghana, Nigeria and other parts of Africa.

From today, whenever you see any cosmetic or lingerie shop on that principal street, just walk in and believe you me, you’d be amazed by the array of sex toys that are always kept from the public eye.

In Ghana, most of these shops you find on the Oxford Street in Osu, Spintext Road, East Legon, Abeka- Lapaz, Roman Ridge, Airport and other areas in Accra and other parts of the country do not only sell cosmetics and lingerie, they have all the artificial toys to jazz up one’s sexual life.

Vibrators for him and her, sex bondage toys, lubricants, kamasutra books, adult movies, masturbators of all sizes and kinds of different prices ranging from GHC 50 ($17) to GHC 600 ($200) and even more is what is behind the curtains of these shops.

For discreet purposes, the shops are now utilising technology and have thus established online shops where all these items are available for those who wish to do discreet business to order from there. Some of these online shops also offer sexual tips for bisexuals and person with straight orientation.

A research I did has revealed at least three of such online sex toyshops in Ghana, and there is currently high demand for these products, which the shop owners claim, will “improve your intimate life with the hottest collection of sex toys”

The situation is no different in Nigeria where dozens of online shops have been established aside the physical shops in the streets of Lagos and other States, to serve thousands of married and unmarried men and women.

The question is, what at all would push humans with life in them to seek pleasure in toys! If such men and women are not sexual perverts, then I believe they may be sex maniacs. To me, this is despicable!

 According to one merchant I spoke to on a telephone number I got from one of such online sites, most of their customers are married couples, and that, even men buy for their wives. Like seriously? I asked myself a simple question. Why will a real man buy sex toys like vibrators and artificial penis for their wives? For what? Are they incapable of satisfying their wives? Or they are just not potent?

Are all these sex toyshops that have flooded our streets, markets and even online, and the level of patronage a manifestation of a moral depravity? I’m tempted to believe so, what about you?

There’s this widely held perception that most of today’s women who find themselves in highflying jobs and positions are unmarried in Ghana. I am tempted to sometimes dignify this perception since whenever some of these women are interviewed, their responses suggest they’re enjoying their singlehood, don’t seem bothered and see no need to jump onto any marriage. Could it be that they are using some of these vibrators and penis?

Well, I think I understand why now. At least, they find or can find pleasure in this array of sex toys. After all, it’s a matter of fact that there are some married women whose husbands are not able to satisfy their sexual libido. Whew! But must that be a justification for them to seek pleasure in toys?

Interestingly, the rate at which this business is booming, it’s likely to have negative consequence on relationships, especially marriages, as these sex toys would render both men and women irrelevant to the other in the near future or?

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